On the Otherside of Fear

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

It was late on a Sunday afternoon when I found myself filled with fear for something so trivial, at first, it seems silly to even mention it. But, despite how seemingly small the cause of the fear was, there was still a powerful lesson I felt called to share.

Let me explain.

It all started when I went to purchase fruit from my local grocer, which, when you're living on a little island in Southeast Asia, is a much different experience than buying food in a supermarket over in the West.

Let me paint you a picture. Imagine a little shop tucked into a busy street with motorbikes buzzing left and right. There are no front walls, giving ample space for you to look through the wooden crates at the front of the shop filled with watermelons, pineapples, papayas, and coconuts. When you enter, shelves of local crops are piled in every direction, with bunches of bananas, apples, avocados, potatoes, carrots, beets, broccoli, and pretty much every form of food you would need to accompany a healthy meal.

After loading my basket with a variety of fruits, I turned to my grocer and offered her my thanks.

“Termia Kashia,” I said as I handed her my cash.

She thanked me back and sent me on my way.

As I turned to leave, my eyes fell upon the shop beside her, another grocer, who, in comparison to the one I had just purchased from, has far poorer quality produce. She has less variety, often it’s older, and at times, even rotting.

But, despite that, I’ve tried to spread the wealth around by visiting her regularly to purchase a couple of fruits, and

“Chananga”—a traditional Balinese offering, made with woven palm leaves and filled with flowers. These beautiful little offerings are usually placed outside as a symbol of gratitude to life, nature, and the creative force within the universe. Loving all of things, I appreciate the practice of placing these little blessings outside my house every morning.

But on that day, the ATM had run out of money, leaving me with barely any cash. But I still had enough to buy my prized chananga which in truth was the only thing I really wanted from that store, because my primary grocer did not sell that item. But, I couldn't afford to buy the extra fruits I usually got from there, fruits I normally didn’t even want.

So as I looked at the store, and my mind quickly contemplated all this, I began to feel a constriction in my chest. It was an old familiar feeling I had felt countless times before.

Like in moments before sharing an article, or telling someone I loved them, or speaking up about something that mattered to me.

That feeling was fear.

As strange as it sounds, I was afraid she would be offended because I didn't buy enough from her. And in that moment, I noticed that there was even a small part of me that just wanted to turn around and go.

But having a lot of practice with that feeling, I did what I had done thousands of times before. I breathed into the sensations in my chest, and relaxed into them. After two conscious breaths like this, I marched over to the second grocer.

“How much is this?” I said, as I pointed to a bag filled with the flowers of offerings.

She gave me the price and told me the bag I was pointing to was a really good choice.

I pulled it from the hook and handed her the last of my cash. She beamed with a radiant glow and smiled as she received it. And I beamed right back.

I gave her one final farewell before I turned to walk away. Then I looked down at the chananga clenched in my hand, the sacred ceremonial tool used for blessing, and then started shaking my head as a great big grin grew on my face.

There I was, holding a very tangible realization of what’s on the other side of fear—a blessing.

And while this little story seems so small, I’ve found that some of life's most profound truths are found in everyday experiences.

Think of your own life for a moment:

• How many times has the feeling of fear held you back from doing what you felt called to do?

• Or how many times has the feeling of “not enough” stopped you from sharing what you had to give?

• Isn't it true that on the other side of those fears, there’s a blessing too?

In the story above, I wrestled with feeling like I didn't have enough money, but you can easily replace that with the feeling of

Not enough time, not being knowledgeable enough, or not feeling good enough, just to name a few.

If you’ve experienced one or more of these, you’re not alone.
It’s common for feelings of fear to hold us back.

But just because it’s common does not mean we should let those fears run the show.

Because when we listen to fear, we do a disservice to ourselves—because we miss out on the gifts that wait on the other side. And we also do a disservice to those around us, because they don’t get the gift of receiving our gifts.

Had I failed to face that little fear, that grocer would have less money at the end of the day—less to share with her family, her community, and the world at large.

Note: She was HAPPY to receive what I had to give. It was enough.

The same is true with whatever gifts you have to offer.
You do not need to be the best in the world to share with the world.
What you have to give is enough.
You are enough.

🌼 Bringing It Home

To bring this idea into your own life, I invite you to reflect on the following:

Reflection Questions:

• What fears are stopping you from expressing your truest self?

• Are you withholding from sharing your gifts, yourself, your time, because of feelings of not enough?

• How might what you have to share positively benefit those around you?

• Why is this important to you?

• How can you face your fears today?